Esquire Magazine July 2005
The FCC has written the following in its most recent reprimand of Mr. Stern, dated April 8, 2004. We quote: "There is a discussion of Sphincterine, a purported personal hygiene product. We also find that this segment is patently offensive. Specifically, the show's host interviewed the inventor of 'Sphincterine' and promoted the sale of the product. During the course of this interview, the host and guest made repeated references to oral sex and the olfactory aspects of excretory activity. For instance, the host noted that the guest had invented 'Sphincterine' because 'a chick was giving you oral and you had "swamp ass." ' The host elicited specific information about the encounter that led to the creation of the product, namely the odors emanating from the inventor's genital area repelled his girlfriend when she had attempted to initiate fellatio. Finally, this segment was interspersed with the sound of flatulence." These weighty words were typed by U.S. government employees on U.S. government computers and discussed in U.S. government conference rooms. Just to be clear.
TheSmokingGun.com
In another broadside at Howard Stern, the Federal Communications Commission today fined Clear Channel Communications a whopping $495,000 for last year's broadcast of an allegedly indecent bit on the King of All Media's popular radio program. Acting on a listener complaint, the FCC hammered Clear Channel over an April 2003 broadcast during which Stern and his cohorts discussed their sexual practices and the use of a personal hygiene product called "Sphincterine."
The Tip Sheet
Cutting The taste of mutton: Sphincterine Ass-tringent is a minty deodorizing wipe for you- or your loved one's- ass crack. It's more convenient and definitely more comfortable than traditional candy canes.
Hot Spot
Pucker Up
by Tristan Taormino
The Best & Worst of Sex in 2002
December 27th, 2002 3:30 PM
I am wearing a floor-length silver gown as I write this to celebrate the end of another year. As this one comes to a close, I look back on sex stories, creations, and people that made headlines or didn't, but deserve recognition.
Strangest Sex Product You Didn't Even Know You Needed: Sphincterine Ass-stringent is what it sounds like; think mouthwash for your butt. A stimulating, refreshing anal astringent created by Mintyass.com, it promises to cleanse and help you "feel fresh all over, even back there."
Hitting the spot
My favorite new product by far, is a cheeky little concoction called Sphincterine. Just a few days ago, a product development chemist, who likes to refer to himself as "The Thomas Edison of Ass", wrote in to tell me how his own bout with "musty undercarriage" led him to create the anus-freshening solution Sphincterine (of which he was kind enough to include a sample bottle). Since my paraphrase could hardly do justice to such an exquisite product, allow me to read you from the back label of Sphincterine [slightly flustered throat clearing]: "This all-natural personal freshener has been formulated to give you a clean fresh feeling all day long." In other words: think of it as a liquid Altoids for a far more odiferous orifice. My bottle of Sphincterine was eagerly used by my spread eagled assistants and let me tell you, I haven't seen a more self-satisfied group of ass-holes since the last Republican convention.
CHEMIST RAISES STINK OVER BAD CRACK
VALHALLA, N.Y. (Wireless Flash) -- It sounds like something out of a bad "Saturday Night Live" sketch-comedy routine, but a chemist in Valhalla, New York, has created a product to prevent stinky butt crack. The so-called Sphincterine is an "ass-stringent" that is supposed to give the behind a fresh scent and a minty flavor. Sphincterine creator Bruce Last says he came up with the poopshoot perfume during a sexual escapade and was turned off by his partner's poopy smell. So putting his money where his mouth shouldn't be, he put his chemistry background to create the derriere deodorant. Last now sells his Sphincterine on www.mintyass.com and is so gassed about the concept that he plans to release a line of similar posterior products.
Sphincterine a Part of Comedy Chaos Murderers Row Show 10-02-02
Widget & I hit another comedy show! This time it was in Manhattan, so all the boys came out to meet us, Zolar, Dan, Boots, Sal, & HPE. What a great show, it was KC, Sexton, Demo, Rev Bob, Florentine, & Sal. We drank with the gang and laughed all night. Mintyass.com was the focus of every comedian's act. You should have been there.
